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Thesis Introduction

I first became aware of my body through others. As I remember, I had an intense feeling of inferiority for my body when I was little. My body was bigger than the other kids. Because of this, I grew up surrounded by embarrassment and insulting words from other kids. I always searched for my value in others, and I was trying to be a person who was accepted by our society and be a woman who looked perfect and was affirmed by our society. Since then, I always used very strict standards for reviewing myself. I had known my body through others and defined me by others. At that time, my body didn't belong to me, in other words, my body became an “object”. An object that pleases others and society.

While I studied textile and fashion design in my bachelor's, I spent a long time with a female mannequin. I loved to put some small swatch of fabric on the mannequin, feeling the fabric on the body, and seeing how different materials play with the body. Through this period, I started to see different perspectives for understanding the human body. Typically, we design clothes through the silhouette, are inspired by fabric, or use another resource instead of designing from the body itself. So, if I reconstructed the material and broke the method of making, I could totally design for the body instead of analyzing it by measurement. Besides, I found out there was so much space between fabric and body. Not only could clothes and the body could create space but also space could shape the body. The way I made clothes became a process where I used several small pieces of material and collected and assembled them and built them through the curve of the body. It is as if memories gradually sediment in the body after years and years.

My art became a romantic journey with knowing the body.

I started doing yoga a few years ago. This period was good timing for re-knowing my body. Yoga is a combination exercise with the mind and the physical body. I learned to be conscious of each part of my body through these practices, including knowing the changing of internal bodies, such as breathing. That was a very deep connection. I felt my body was enveloped by the space, and I became part of that; my sensations became the extension of my body; my consciousness spread to each part of my body and reached out in space. That was the first time I felt"me", it was my body and I lived in my body.

Thanks to my previous background and experiences, I realized that clothes have become my string that ties up the link within my body and extends outwards toward the world. Therefore, my research interests always lie in questions and discussions about the body, clothes, and space. I have the insight to glimpse the combination of body and space via clothes. In this case, clothes work as an interface and build a bridge between these two-positions.

Moreover, there are various possibilities in the body. The body is a complex machine and multiplex mechanism and is constantly changeable so that it is unpredictable and surprising in fascinating ways.

Now, I see even more possibilities to go deeper in my field of interest as a visual artist through the use of technology. I see technology as a tool to combine with my artistic practice; a tool that enables me to discover more possibilities, to add more layers, and to bring a new perspective to the discussion, to make my artistic practice and creations more powerful and complete.