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Final Conclusion: Reflecting on My Artistic Journey 

My thesis. I would say it is more like an artistic reflection, reviewing what I have created and how I have grown during these two years. A self-exploring journey that lets me trace back to the early stage of my life, to use sensual ways to analyze my body and each memory of my body. Some people said that the water is entitled to memories substance. I believe our body also has the same capabilities. It is like our body stores our different kinds of memories into a different folder, saved as films or files for each stage of our life. It is not the only deposit for normal memories but also for the memories of sense feeling. Thanks for writing this thesis to help me to find out my loose early childhood memories of the starting building blocks of my artistic aesthetic, the critical pieces of the puzzle.

Many scenes were in my father's study rooms. As I remember in my childhood, my father liked to collect Chinese artworks from crafts to stones to sculptures to paintings and he put all of his collections and artist's books in the study room. So, I liked to visit my father's secret room to do some adventures. When he had time during the weekend, he would introduce and tell stories to me about his collections, for example, who made these art pieces and used what kind of skills to make these, how to observe and appreciate artworks, even though these are not from famous artworks. So, there became my little garden; I enjoyed the time there. Besides, this room was a place that inspired my art and the place I learned how to draw from my father. Since my father had the time and he would practice the skills of painting. So, I always visited him and joined his painting time. Then he taught me how to draw basic lines with color. My father had a sketchbook full of his practice sketches, they were so beautiful, and it was then that I dedicated myself to try and achieve that high level one day. I stole his painting tool to my room and hid them and I practiced once I had time. But I cannot not remember when my father stopped painting and threw all of the artist books and tools away. I did not even have a chance to ask for some materials to keep. When he stopped painting, I stopped extending my artistic path but now it finally starts again.

I don’t know if I can be an artist for the rest of my life, like my father's dream that he wanted to be a painter when he was young. I really appreciate that my father supports me to do what I want and gives me lots of freedom so I can involve myself entirely for creating and also, cultivated such good aesthetic insight into my art sense. So, I do believe that what I learned from my early childhood period influences my aesthetic and my way of making art pieces. For example, my father had many Pagodite stones sculptures, very delicate, structured in layers by layers. I think the way I make sculpture-looking clothes is also inspired by these stones and these sculptures array of shapes, and how I looked into details of the material.

My view on the body changed throughout the research and writing process. For example, the body can be understood from a variety of angles and the research taught me to see and embrace these different views of the body instead of binding myself in the so-called frame (so-called aesthetic of beauty), and also seeing this value in my works. It also fortified my knowledge about the importance of expression and delivering a message by using my body or my works. The body not only transmits ideas in concepts but also using an emotional layer and achieves the goal of letting works speak. Sometimes, I think I am as the strings, connecting things together. The whole thesis is like that, ideas tied to each other with unseen strings all of which effects each other, layer by layer. Like the relationship between my body, my background, my clothes, my skin, the spaces I inhabit, and all extended from these, the connection between machines and humans is also invisible, tied together with strings and gears. And these things that I have learned and experienced are stored in my body and will travel with me on the next journey, opening a new beginning.

I enjoyed the combined process of writing and making my graduation project. While I do not write often, I appreciated the whole writing process, having deeper talks with myself on the page. I learned a lot. For example, I learned how to articulate the connection between myself to my works and to see the connections between my ideas and my works in-depth. This helped me access to the world of my body and to emotionally communication with my works, which in turn opened me toward the world to communicate my ideas and emotions. Besides this emotional learning and communication, I grew by experiencing and trying experiments with different mediums and learning some techniques of technology that I did not have before. Also, I overcome the fortress of (academic) writing. I realize that writing can also be a part of an art piece, using the power of words. When I think about the context of my thesis, words are part of my works, which alleviates some writing fears; oppositely, there were times when I enjoyed the writing process, but now, finally, I am finished.

For me, my thesis is like a journey to explore the self and create newborn life in the world. 
Everything is new and unknowing, like every project I have done before, full of curiosity, excitement, and challenges. The process needs a long time to investigate, to develop, and even if it will take one more year, 
then waiting for a beautiful result come out to the world is worth it. Now that I have reached the end of the thesis, it signals the end of my studies at the Frank Mohr Institute. I really appreciate what I have learned from my time here, and I can leave here knowing I met amazing people. My emotions are a complex whirlwind as I finish my thesis; sometimes I am super struggling with writing especially if I don't have ways to describe my ideas yet I have the stress and want to finish quickly, but I also enjoy writing these moments to see how many times I put my ideas on paper and produce something; and another point is that it means my studying is going to end. However, this is not the ending of my art process. The topic of the body, this journey into and through my body will continue going and growing, I am, we all are, alive artworks, and will experience the natural decay and experience real body performance all the time.